I know all we've been hearing about is the Coronavirus - its exhausting. In a couple of days, we went from being pretty chill about the whole thing to having schools closed and social gatherings limited, sports and events of all kinds cancelled and not toilet paper anywhere. It all feels pretty crazy.
I'm not generally a very excitable person - I tend to get the facts and arrive at my own conclusion rather than have a knee-jerk emotional response. I have been doing my best to gather info the last few days and also to try to sort between hysteria and truth. I have become convinced of a few things.
1. A lot of people in America will get the Coronavirus - most of them will be fine, but not all.
2. The biggest concern is that medical facilities and personnel will be overrun and unable to keep up with the number of cases requiring acute care.
3. WE CAN HELP. All the data points to social distancing being key to slow the spread.
I, like most of you I'm sure, was irritated when my daughter's (who is a dance major - how do you that online??) university converted to online classes and then subsequently my middle and high school kids schools were shut down by the Governor. I have a daughter who is a senior in high school - will she not be able to walk across the graduation stage??
But, the more I read and listened, the more I got it. Proactive closings and distancing will be MUCH more helpful than reactive ones. I am not afraid of the coronavirus on a personal level, but I am part of a society that is much bigger than me personally - the best way I can show my care for others is to throw my hat in the ring and do my best to slow the spread.
So, we will. My husband and I run a lacrosse club that literally just had its first game Thursday. But, we sent out an email to cancel activities for at least the next two weeks (in keeping with the Governor's mandate) and sent out some suggestions to keep the players busy at home. We were sad - our lacrosse loving boys are sad. But, if this inconvenience can keep others safe - it is the least we can do.
I was contemplating it all this morning and the silver lining of the whole thing crashed down on me.
I am at home - practicing social distancing - but, I can still talk to all of you. My kids will be stuck at home, but they too can talk to their friends. If need be, they can do school at home online and they can still have access to teachers through chat rooms and online learning platforms. THAT IS AMAZING. This will be tough, I think, but we are in so much better of a position to weather it as a society than we were even 20 years ago.
I am frustrated and sad and inconvenienced, but I am also grateful. It's what I've said all along - technology isn't all bad. :)
Wash your hands, friends, and let's chat - online.
Family 2015
Sunday, March 15, 2020
Friday, February 14, 2020
The Long Game
Do you ever feel like you are behind in life? You check out the landscape around you - your friends and their accomplishments, your friend's children and where they are in life, your financial situation, the state of your health, how your happiness measures up to other people's perceived happiness which is always on display via social media?
Of course you do. We all do.
In this modern society, impatience is at an all time high. For some reason, we all think we deserve ALL THE THINGS right now. But man. The older I get, the more I realize that life is the long game - not to be cliche, but it truly is about the journey, not the destination.
I worry for folks today who are rushing to get to some imaginary finish line where they think they will be happy. No. Happiness is today. It is the people you love, the work you do, the faith you embrace. It is not an absence of trouble or challenges. It is not the perfect house, fancy car, perfect body.
Faith is the same. I am a follower of Jesus, but the longer I follow Him, the more I realize that faith is also not about a destination - it is about what you learn along the way, and who you are becoming. Many young believers seem to have the idea that faith is an easy fix for what ails them. No, my friends, faith is a relationship. And like most relationships, it gets finer with time, and stronger because of adversity.
The Bible is full of the stories of people who waited years, decades even, to see the promises of God fulfilled. We have trouble waiting for our food in a drive-thru line. But, you know, our present circumstances don't change God. He does not change His ways to accommodate our perceived time table. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He created the long game and did it with us in mind.
Take a deep breath - masterpieces, like you and me, they cannot be rushed, and they are well worth the wait.
Of course you do. We all do.
In this modern society, impatience is at an all time high. For some reason, we all think we deserve ALL THE THINGS right now. But man. The older I get, the more I realize that life is the long game - not to be cliche, but it truly is about the journey, not the destination.
I worry for folks today who are rushing to get to some imaginary finish line where they think they will be happy. No. Happiness is today. It is the people you love, the work you do, the faith you embrace. It is not an absence of trouble or challenges. It is not the perfect house, fancy car, perfect body.
Faith is the same. I am a follower of Jesus, but the longer I follow Him, the more I realize that faith is also not about a destination - it is about what you learn along the way, and who you are becoming. Many young believers seem to have the idea that faith is an easy fix for what ails them. No, my friends, faith is a relationship. And like most relationships, it gets finer with time, and stronger because of adversity.
The Bible is full of the stories of people who waited years, decades even, to see the promises of God fulfilled. We have trouble waiting for our food in a drive-thru line. But, you know, our present circumstances don't change God. He does not change His ways to accommodate our perceived time table. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He created the long game and did it with us in mind.
Take a deep breath - masterpieces, like you and me, they cannot be rushed, and they are well worth the wait.
Friday, January 24, 2020
In The Whisper
I was driving Pierce to school this morning and he turned to me and asked, "Mom, what has been the busiest year of your life?"
I thought hard trying to pinpoint one, but I finally said, "Gosh honey, I dont know, I feel like I've been busy for a looonnnggg time."
He sighed. This has been his busiest year so far, he shared, and he is wondering how to handle it, and if it will ever get better.
It was not lost on me that I was having this conversation with my 13 year old 7th grader. Did I wonder these things at his age? I don't think I did. I think life is more fast paced now than it used to be and that pressure affects younger people more than it used to. The voices in society (made louder by constant online access) scream at us to work harder, do better, prioritize, rest, exercise, eat well, have meaningful relationships, drink water, eat organic, for gosh sake DO IT ALL AND DO IT BETTER.
It's exhausting.
I was so glad to be able to share with him that although his life will probably always be busy, there is a place he can go for relief.
"...but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper." I Kings 19:12
When life rises up and seems like it is too much and you feel you will cave under the pressure, I told him, you just need to take a minute and listen for the whisper.
God didn't promise a lack of storms, He just promised to be present in them. To uphold us, encourage us, strengthen us and see us through to the other side. Every. Single. Time.
I am a little sad that my kids are growing up in such a tumultuous time, but I am so happy to be able to point them to where peace is - just follow the whisper, my 13 year old, He will never let you down. 💜
I thought hard trying to pinpoint one, but I finally said, "Gosh honey, I dont know, I feel like I've been busy for a looonnnggg time."
He sighed. This has been his busiest year so far, he shared, and he is wondering how to handle it, and if it will ever get better.
It was not lost on me that I was having this conversation with my 13 year old 7th grader. Did I wonder these things at his age? I don't think I did. I think life is more fast paced now than it used to be and that pressure affects younger people more than it used to. The voices in society (made louder by constant online access) scream at us to work harder, do better, prioritize, rest, exercise, eat well, have meaningful relationships, drink water, eat organic, for gosh sake DO IT ALL AND DO IT BETTER.
It's exhausting.
I was so glad to be able to share with him that although his life will probably always be busy, there is a place he can go for relief.
"...but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper." I Kings 19:12
When life rises up and seems like it is too much and you feel you will cave under the pressure, I told him, you just need to take a minute and listen for the whisper.
God didn't promise a lack of storms, He just promised to be present in them. To uphold us, encourage us, strengthen us and see us through to the other side. Every. Single. Time.
I am a little sad that my kids are growing up in such a tumultuous time, but I am so happy to be able to point them to where peace is - just follow the whisper, my 13 year old, He will never let you down. 💜
Friday, September 6, 2019
The Most Important 30 Minutes of the Day
I was reminded again the other night what the most important 30 minutes of the day is - probably most of you know without me saying it - it's family dinnertime.
When I was a mom of very young children, I sort of had the wrong idea about this. Sure, we ate dinner together almost everyday, but I thought it had more to do with WHAT was on the table. As the years have passed, I have realized that has nothing to do with it really. We could be eating a beautiful Thanksgiving dinner with all the fancy dishes and decorations or we could be eating soup and grilled cheese on paper plates - what matters is WHO is at the table and the relationships that are being built there.
As my kids are growing and going, I am ever so grateful that we placed a priority on family dinner. We don't have a perfect track record - there were many, many nights when we weren't all there - but we would always do our best to reconnect with whoever the absent party or parties were when they got back from their late night activity - save them a plate, get the rundown of their day for a few minutes while they ate, hopefully remind them that when life is tough and busy that they always have a place to come and decompress and be loved.
This year, although we still have 3 at home (Kennedy started her first post-college job in Williamsburg and Reagan is a Junior at Radford University), they are older and busy. McKinley is a senior with a job, a car, and multiple extracurricular activities. Carter is a sophomore who runs cross country everyday after school and never misses an opportunity to be with his friends. Pierce is a 7th grader, but he started military school this year - he and Nic walk out my door at 6:20 every morning! The boys at Fishburne kick off the day with 45 minutes of PT (physical training) BEFORE breakfast. Nobody gets here before 5:00 (holy long day for the 7th grader) and everyone is tired when they do make it home.
We have taken to eating dinner on the couches because our bodies need to relax, and some days what I manage to dish up is not all that exciting because I work full time too and meal prep has never been my strong suit. BUT, how good it is for all of our souls to sit there with each other for half an hour and reconnect - we are feeding our bodies, but the soul food is just as important.
If you are tempted to give up this time because it seems impossible - DON'T. You will be so, so glad to have these memories. Happy New School Year friends!!! 💕
When I was a mom of very young children, I sort of had the wrong idea about this. Sure, we ate dinner together almost everyday, but I thought it had more to do with WHAT was on the table. As the years have passed, I have realized that has nothing to do with it really. We could be eating a beautiful Thanksgiving dinner with all the fancy dishes and decorations or we could be eating soup and grilled cheese on paper plates - what matters is WHO is at the table and the relationships that are being built there.
As my kids are growing and going, I am ever so grateful that we placed a priority on family dinner. We don't have a perfect track record - there were many, many nights when we weren't all there - but we would always do our best to reconnect with whoever the absent party or parties were when they got back from their late night activity - save them a plate, get the rundown of their day for a few minutes while they ate, hopefully remind them that when life is tough and busy that they always have a place to come and decompress and be loved.
This year, although we still have 3 at home (Kennedy started her first post-college job in Williamsburg and Reagan is a Junior at Radford University), they are older and busy. McKinley is a senior with a job, a car, and multiple extracurricular activities. Carter is a sophomore who runs cross country everyday after school and never misses an opportunity to be with his friends. Pierce is a 7th grader, but he started military school this year - he and Nic walk out my door at 6:20 every morning! The boys at Fishburne kick off the day with 45 minutes of PT (physical training) BEFORE breakfast. Nobody gets here before 5:00 (holy long day for the 7th grader) and everyone is tired when they do make it home.
We have taken to eating dinner on the couches because our bodies need to relax, and some days what I manage to dish up is not all that exciting because I work full time too and meal prep has never been my strong suit. BUT, how good it is for all of our souls to sit there with each other for half an hour and reconnect - we are feeding our bodies, but the soul food is just as important.
If you are tempted to give up this time because it seems impossible - DON'T. You will be so, so glad to have these memories. Happy New School Year friends!!! 💕
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
Snow Day Thoughts
The last few weeks of my life have been extremely busy and anything but ordinary. The events and things that have been going on aren't mine to share, but they have prompted lots of deep thinking.
I am typically pretty circumspect anyway - as I think most people of my personality type are, but sometimes it gets kicked into high gear. So, since we have a snow day and I am enjoying a much needed day off, I thought I would share.
There is a verse in Deuteronomy 29:29 and it reads:
"Some things are hidden. They belong to the Lord our God."
We don't like this thought, we humans, especially we Americans. "What do you mean hidden? That doesn't seem fair. I have the right to know!!" We don't appreciate hidden things. We want to search things out. We want to be well informed. We want to understand. We want to do all of these things, I think, because it gives us the illusion that we are in control.
The older I get, the more I realize that is not the case. But, here is another thing I have realized. It's not as scary to not be in control as I once thought. In a way, it is somewhat comforting to release my death - like grip of being in charge.
It's kind of like the Doc Holiday quote in Tombstone:
"There is no good life or bad life, Wyatt. There's just life."
Huh.
My prayer is that as I walk through this life, I will live it to the fullest, love the most, enjoy the good, grow through the bad, be a blessing whenever and to whomever I can, and to relax into the steady hand of the lover of my soul.
💕
I am typically pretty circumspect anyway - as I think most people of my personality type are, but sometimes it gets kicked into high gear. So, since we have a snow day and I am enjoying a much needed day off, I thought I would share.
There is a verse in Deuteronomy 29:29 and it reads:
"Some things are hidden. They belong to the Lord our God."
We don't like this thought, we humans, especially we Americans. "What do you mean hidden? That doesn't seem fair. I have the right to know!!" We don't appreciate hidden things. We want to search things out. We want to be well informed. We want to understand. We want to do all of these things, I think, because it gives us the illusion that we are in control.
The older I get, the more I realize that is not the case. But, here is another thing I have realized. It's not as scary to not be in control as I once thought. In a way, it is somewhat comforting to release my death - like grip of being in charge.
It's kind of like the Doc Holiday quote in Tombstone:
"There is no good life or bad life, Wyatt. There's just life."
Huh.
My prayer is that as I walk through this life, I will live it to the fullest, love the most, enjoy the good, grow through the bad, be a blessing whenever and to whomever I can, and to relax into the steady hand of the lover of my soul.
💕
Friday, November 23, 2018
Thankful for Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving has long been my favorite holiday. I do love Christmas too, but let's be real, Moms - it's a lot of work to be Santa. Thanksgiving is just spending time together and all you really have to do is cook a turkey. #easy
Since we have lived in Virginia, our Thanksgiving holidays have been just the 7 of us - Michigan and New Mexico are a long way to travel for a 4 day weekend - and I have come to really enjoy this time with just our family.
Yesterday though, we were invited to go to some friend's for the day and that was great too - laid back, relaxing, good food. It's just my favorite day.
As we all sat around yesterday afternoon, I was watching all the kids -ours and theirs - and thought what a wonder it is to watch them all grow. There is just nothing that compares.
I used to think that I would be really sad as my kids grew and spread their wings. Now, true that I am not facing an empty nest quite yet, but so far this sadness has not materialized. I actually love to watch my kids as they journey into adulthood. It is gratifying to watch them take on the world and I am still their Mom - sure, my role is different, but would I really want that not to be the case?
I've heard many parents say things like "oh, if only they were little again," or "if I could just pause time right now." I understand the sentiment, but I honestly don't think anyone really means it. Our kids are meant to grow and move on, we would be beyond sad if something stopped that normal progression of life for them.
I think what people really mean when they make comments like that is "I miss them."
Yes. Me too.
That's why I'm thankful for Thanksgiving. :)
Since we have lived in Virginia, our Thanksgiving holidays have been just the 7 of us - Michigan and New Mexico are a long way to travel for a 4 day weekend - and I have come to really enjoy this time with just our family.
Yesterday though, we were invited to go to some friend's for the day and that was great too - laid back, relaxing, good food. It's just my favorite day.
As we all sat around yesterday afternoon, I was watching all the kids -ours and theirs - and thought what a wonder it is to watch them all grow. There is just nothing that compares.
I used to think that I would be really sad as my kids grew and spread their wings. Now, true that I am not facing an empty nest quite yet, but so far this sadness has not materialized. I actually love to watch my kids as they journey into adulthood. It is gratifying to watch them take on the world and I am still their Mom - sure, my role is different, but would I really want that not to be the case?
I've heard many parents say things like "oh, if only they were little again," or "if I could just pause time right now." I understand the sentiment, but I honestly don't think anyone really means it. Our kids are meant to grow and move on, we would be beyond sad if something stopped that normal progression of life for them.
I think what people really mean when they make comments like that is "I miss them."
Yes. Me too.
That's why I'm thankful for Thanksgiving. :)
Sunday, October 21, 2018
"Just a Mom"
I heard this phrase a few weeks back. I was chatting with a group of ladies and everyone was talking about their occupation. There were some impressive answers: Nurse. Teacher. Sales Manager. Entrepreneur. Then one of the ladies said, somewhat apologetically and sheepishly, "Oh! You all are amazing! I'm just a Mom." The other women answered kindly and not at all condescendingly. One of them even said, "Well, then you are the hardest worker here!" But, I could tell that "just a Mom" wasn't altogether convinced.
I do not at all think that the other women were being disingenuous, but I found myself wondering; at what point in time did we start to feel the need to defend our choice to be "just a Mom?"
I was a stay at home Mom for 17 years. It was my choice and had always been one of the biggest dreams of my heart. I now work outside the home, but those original thoughts and desires I had have not changed.
I really like my job. I love the people I work with and I feel that we are doing important work for our community. But, if we were just meeting and you asked me about myself, the first thing out of my mouth wouldn't be, "I'm a dental assistant." I would say, "I have been married for 22 years and we have 5 wonderful kids - I love being a wife and a Mom!" It doesn't bother me at all to be identified by the role I hold in the lives of my family. Actually, I feel there is no greater privilege.
There is no question, no question, that women are capable of any career out there. I am glad that we have made such progress as a society in our view of women. I just hope we haven't veered into the ditch on the other side of the road. Yes, women, you should absolutely follow the dreams in your heart - you can do whatever you set your mind to. But, if what you really want to do is stay at home with your own children and you are able to do so - don't you dare let society look down on you.
Don't you dare look down on yourself.
Here is a quote from G.K. Chesterton that hits the nail on the head:
I do not at all think that the other women were being disingenuous, but I found myself wondering; at what point in time did we start to feel the need to defend our choice to be "just a Mom?"
I was a stay at home Mom for 17 years. It was my choice and had always been one of the biggest dreams of my heart. I now work outside the home, but those original thoughts and desires I had have not changed.
I really like my job. I love the people I work with and I feel that we are doing important work for our community. But, if we were just meeting and you asked me about myself, the first thing out of my mouth wouldn't be, "I'm a dental assistant." I would say, "I have been married for 22 years and we have 5 wonderful kids - I love being a wife and a Mom!" It doesn't bother me at all to be identified by the role I hold in the lives of my family. Actually, I feel there is no greater privilege.
There is no question, no question, that women are capable of any career out there. I am glad that we have made such progress as a society in our view of women. I just hope we haven't veered into the ditch on the other side of the road. Yes, women, you should absolutely follow the dreams in your heart - you can do whatever you set your mind to. But, if what you really want to do is stay at home with your own children and you are able to do so - don't you dare let society look down on you.
Don't you dare look down on yourself.
Here is a quote from G.K. Chesterton that hits the nail on the head:
“To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labours, and holidays; to be Whitely within a certain area, providing toys, boots, cakes and books; to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can imagine how this can exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone and narrow to be everything to someone? No, a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute.”
Indeed.
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