Open Letter to My Children

So, as you well know, your Mom is an incurable optimist.  I simply do not see the point of focusing on the part of the glass that may be empty - if there is anything in that glass, that's what we should be looking at!

If you've been my child for long, you know that if you come to me with a problem, the first thing I will do is show you the ways to look at it that make it seem not so problematic.  I will talk to you about how it could be worse, why it might be a blessing in disguise and how that "other kid" has it so much worse off than you do.

Well, dear children, I would like to offer you an apology today.

I won't apologize for who I am, I have always been wired to think and deal with life in that way.

But, I do apologize if I have ever inadvertently hurt you when you came to me for help or just for a listening ear and I gave you a lot of (probably unwanted) advice.

I am so sorry if I have ever made you feel like your problems were small and you should "just get over it."

The truth is, I do understand.  Seeing you struggle and deal with hard things is hard for me, harder than it's ever been to struggle and deal with hard things on my own.  When I gave you pep talks and seemingly trite solutions, I am just trying, really trying, to take some of the hurt away from you.

I know it rarely works.

I also know that you sometimes just want a hug and a voice that says, "it's going to be ok."

I promise you that I will try, try to be more listening and less talking.  Try to just let you have a moment to be frustrated or hurt or disappointed without "fixing you."

You don't need to be fixed.  Frustration, hurt and disappointment are all, unfortunately, part of life.  It is normal to feel those and also normal to find your own way to deal with them.

The truth is, you are strong, amazing people.  I have no doubt that each of you will find your own way in life and be very happy and fulfilled.  You will make your mark on this world.  I wish I could take away all the road blocks you will face, but I cant, and I promise to stop trying to make the road blocks look like they are really a trip to the carnival.

I love you all so much.  And trust me, whatever you face, it's going to be ok. :)