I have a distinct memory of being in church as a young teenager and listening to the story of the Israelites being delivered from Egypt. The minister was talking about how, although they had experienced God's miraculous deliverance out of bondage and even across the Red Sea, they still struggled with unbelief when food became scarce. "Did God bring us out here to die??" they whined, "it would've been better if we had died in Egypt where there was plenty of food!!" I remember being incredulous at their unbelief and thinking how on earth anyone who had experienced such miracles could ever doubt again.
I must admit that I have the same propensity as the Israelites. I have, without a doubt, experienced God's miraculous provision and grace time and time again. But, when faced with a new challenge, it is not my automatic response to look back and remember His faithfulness.
As our kids get older, the challenges of raising them gets different, the cares of life are more serious - bigger, scarier, I have less control. It is tempting, very tempting, to melt into a puddle of worry about how it will all work out. But, I have atleast learned that worrying accomplishes nothing, and so I turn to planning. But, that has limitations too. Things don't always (ok, never) work out the way I have planned.
So, finally, I throw up my hands and tell God He's gonna have to handle it.
Oh right. He always has. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He will never leave me or forsake me. The number of my days He will fulfill.
Still, choosing to trust is a daily proposition. Minute by minute sometimes. I have more understanding for those Israelites these days. They were just human, like me. :)