"Just a Mom"

I heard this phrase a few weeks back.  I was chatting with a group of ladies and everyone was talking about their occupation.  There were some impressive answers:  Nurse.  Teacher.  Sales Manager.  Entrepreneur.  Then one of the ladies said, somewhat apologetically and sheepishly, "Oh! You all are amazing!  I'm just a Mom."  The other women answered kindly and not at all condescendingly.  One of them even said, "Well, then you are the hardest worker here!"  But, I could tell that "just a Mom" wasn't altogether convinced.

I do not at all think that the other women were being disingenuous, but I found myself wondering; at what point in time did we start to feel the need to defend our choice to be "just a Mom?" 

I was a stay at home Mom for 17 years.  It was my choice and had always been one of the biggest dreams of my heart.  I now work outside the home, but those original thoughts and desires I had have not changed.

I really like my job.  I love the people I work with and I feel that we are doing important work for our community.  But, if we were just meeting and you asked me about myself, the first thing out of my mouth wouldn't be, "I'm a dental assistant."  I would say, "I have been married for 22 years and we have 5 wonderful kids - I love being a wife and a Mom!"  It doesn't bother me at all to be identified by the role I hold in the lives of my family.  Actually, I feel there is no greater privilege.

There is no question, no question, that women are capable of any career out there.  I am glad that we have made such progress as a society in our view of women.  I just hope we haven't veered into the ditch on the other side of the road.  Yes, women, you should absolutely follow the dreams in your heart - you can do whatever you set your mind to.  But, if what you really want to do is stay at home with your own children and you are able to do so - don't you dare let society look down on you. 

Don't you dare look down on yourself. 

Here is a quote from G.K. Chesterton that hits the nail on the head:

“To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labours, and holidays; to be Whitely within a certain area, providing toys, boots, cakes and books; to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can imagine how this can exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone and narrow to be everything to someone? No, a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute.”

Indeed.

In Solidarity: To my Fellow Modern Day Parents

You know where I am right now?  I am sitting in a parking lot waiting for my son to finish football practice.  Like most of you, I worked all day, rushed home, picked him and his sister up, dropped him off, dropped her off, and now I’m sitting in this parking lot because there is no point in going home before I have to come back and pick him up.

I know others of you are doing the same thing, because I see you sitting in your cars right next to me.

Also, if you are like me, you probably have heard your fair share of how bad it is that we do all of this running around and it would be so much better if the kids just ran and played outside like they used to.

Listen.  I’m not exactly arguing that point.  But, I am saying - to the parents of yesteryear - and the voices that condemn all things parenting in the year 2018: that is not the way things are now.

I’m sure it was great when all the neighborhood kids played a game of baseball together until the street lights came on, but today if I want my kids to play sports, interact with their peers and learn some life lessons (which I do); I have to sign them up, pay a fee and take them to practices.  And games.  And volunteer.

And even if everyone only does 1 thing, all the things have multiple days and most of us have multiple children and, there ya go...we are all sitting here in our cars.

But, I feel solidarity with you, my fellow car sitters.  I feel proud to be with you.

We are making the best choices we can for our kids in the day they are growing up in.

We aren’t sitting in these cars because we don’t care.

 We’re sitting here because we do.