Family 2015

Family 2015

Friday, November 23, 2018

Thankful for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving has long been my favorite holiday.  I do love Christmas too, but let's be real, Moms - it's a lot of work to be Santa.  Thanksgiving is just spending time together and all you really have to do is cook a turkey. #easy

Since we have lived in Virginia, our Thanksgiving holidays have been just the 7 of us - Michigan and New Mexico are a long way to travel for a 4 day weekend - and I have come to really enjoy this time with just our family.

Yesterday though, we were invited to go to some friend's for the day and that was great too - laid back, relaxing, good food.  It's just my favorite day.

As we all sat around yesterday afternoon, I was watching all the kids -ours and theirs - and thought what a wonder it is to watch them all grow.  There is just nothing that compares.

I used to think that I would be really sad as my kids grew and spread their wings.  Now, true that I am not facing an empty nest quite yet, but so far this sadness has not materialized.  I actually love to watch my kids as they journey into adulthood.  It is gratifying to watch them take on the world and I am still their Mom - sure, my role is different, but would I really want that not to be the case?

I've heard many parents say things like "oh, if only they were little again," or "if I could just pause time right now."  I understand the sentiment, but I honestly don't think anyone really means it.  Our kids are meant to grow and move on, we would be beyond sad if something stopped that normal progression of life for them.

I think what people really mean when they make comments like that is "I miss them."

Yes.  Me too.

That's why I'm thankful for Thanksgiving.  :)





Sunday, October 21, 2018

"Just a Mom"

I heard this phrase a few weeks back.  I was chatting with a group of ladies and everyone was talking about their occupation.  There were some impressive answers:  Nurse.  Teacher.  Sales Manager.  Entrepreneur.  Then one of the ladies said, somewhat apologetically and sheepishly, "Oh! You all are amazing!  I'm just a Mom."  The other women answered kindly and not at all condescendingly.  One of them even said, "Well, then you are the hardest worker here!"  But, I could tell that "just a Mom" wasn't altogether convinced.

I do not at all think that the other women were being disingenuous, but I found myself wondering; at what point in time did we start to feel the need to defend our choice to be "just a Mom?" 

I was a stay at home Mom for 17 years.  It was my choice and had always been one of the biggest dreams of my heart.  I now work outside the home, but those original thoughts and desires I had have not changed.

I really like my job.  I love the people I work with and I feel that we are doing important work for our community.  But, if we were just meeting and you asked me about myself, the first thing out of my mouth wouldn't be, "I'm a dental assistant."  I would say, "I have been married for 22 years and we have 5 wonderful kids - I love being a wife and a Mom!"  It doesn't bother me at all to be identified by the role I hold in the lives of my family.  Actually, I feel there is no greater privilege.

There is no question, no question, that women are capable of any career out there.  I am glad that we have made such progress as a society in our view of women.  I just hope we haven't veered into the ditch on the other side of the road.  Yes, women, you should absolutely follow the dreams in your heart - you can do whatever you set your mind to.  But, if what you really want to do is stay at home with your own children and you are able to do so - don't you dare let society look down on you. 

Don't you dare look down on yourself. 

Here is a quote from G.K. Chesterton that hits the nail on the head:

“To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labours, and holidays; to be Whitely within a certain area, providing toys, boots, cakes and books; to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can imagine how this can exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone and narrow to be everything to someone? No, a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute.”

Indeed.





Thursday, October 4, 2018

In Solidarity: To my Fellow Modern Day Parents

You know where I am right now?  I am sitting in a parking lot waiting for my son to finish football practice.  Like most of you, I worked all day, rushed home, picked him and his sister up, dropped him off, dropped her off, and now I’m sitting in this parking lot because there is no point in going home before I have to come back and pick him up.

I know others of you are doing the same thing, because I see you sitting in your cars right next to me.

Also, if you are like me, you probably have heard your fair share of how bad it is that we do all of this running around and it would be so much better if the kids just ran and played outside like they used to.

Listen.  I’m not exactly arguing that point.  But, I am saying - to the parents of yesteryear - and the voices that condemn all things parenting in the year 2018: that is not the way things are now.

I’m sure it was great when all the neighborhood kids played a game of baseball together until the street lights came on, but today if I want my kids to play sports, interact with their peers and learn some life lessons (which I do); I have to sign them up, pay a fee and take them to practices.  And games.  And volunteer.

And even if everyone only does 1 thing, all the things have multiple days and most of us have multiple children and, there ya go...we are all sitting here in our cars.

But, I feel solidarity with you, my fellow car sitters.  I feel proud to be with you.

We are making the best choices we can for our kids in the day they are growing up in.

We aren’t sitting in these cars because we don’t care.

 We’re sitting here because we do.

Thursday, August 2, 2018

End of Summer Musings

It is the last week before the kids go back to school and also my vacation week.  We have stayed home this week because we have basically had a summer of mini-vacations. We didn't all go together or at the same time, but we have had some awesome fun and been pretty busy.

We all made it out to New Mexico and all of my kids finally got to meet my Grandma.:)  Reagan went to Michigan and Kennedy is on her way there now.  McKinley and I went to Atlanta.  Kennedy and I went to New York.  Nic and the boys went to New York.  Reagan and I still have a day trip planned to New York.  Free flights are cool, but travel is also kind of exhausting.

So.  We decided to take it easy this week - hang out, swim, back to school shop, sleep in.  I've heard the word bored a time or two, but it hasn't been from my lips. 

Time like this is rare for me and sooo rejuvenating.  I've had lots of time to sit and think and journal and consider the upcoming year. 

Kennedy is getting ready to start her SENIOR YEAR IN COLLEGE.  Dang.  She will likely move to a bigger city after graduation in order to intern in her chosen field for a year or two so that she more clearly knows what to pursue in grad school.  I am impressed with the way she tackles life - hasn't been easy, but she's no quitter.

Reagan will be a sophomore at Radford University and, in keeping with the way she rolls, her fall schedule is enough to make me cower in a corner.  18 credit hours, peer mentor job and all the performances she is required to participate in on top of it.  She wouldn't have it any other way.

McKinley - a junior this year.  Her class schedule is jam packed and she will be working part time and participating in extra curriculars as well.  Thoughts of what comes after high school are on the forefront of her mind all the time, and it really is right around the corner.

Carter is a freshman. In highschool.  He eats, sleeps and breathes lacrosse and Pokemon Go. He is the boy version of Reagan and requires lots of social interaction.  I took him school clothes shopping and he picked out a shirt with roses on it, which is apparently a thing boys wear now.   He is turning into a young man at lightning speed.

Pierce is about to make his first step into the halls of the middle school as a student.  He has found all of his classes, met all his teachers, conquered the opening of his locker and is all set to play the saxophone in the band and flag football.

I am still enjoying my job and am beyond grateful for it.  Nic is working at the airport and handling our growing lacrosse program.  Our life is full, busy, we are blessed.

There are things I could point out that aren't perfect, of course.  I know I am no different than any of you - there are setbacks, frustrations, daily battles.  But, I choose to look at the good - there is so much of it.  I also choose to live in today.  Today, I have daily bread, a home, a beautiful family, my health.  Yes, tomorrow will have it's challenges and there are things that I'm not quite sure how they will work out.

But, this I know.

He is the same yesterday, today and forever.  He has seen ahead to what tomorrow holds and has provided.  He is the way maker.  He is my peace and comfort.  He never fails.




Sunday, July 15, 2018

You Know What's Hard?

Trying to keep up with all the things I'm *supposed* to do to be healthy.

*Disclaimer:  I have many friends who do things like YLEO, Plexus, CrossFit, Keto Coffee, AdvoCare, Detox's, Wraps, etc,etc,etc.  I am truly happy for you if you have found a thing that has had such a positive impact on your life, I really mean that.  I am writing this one, paritally, so that none of you are hurt by the fact that I don't try to participate in these things.  It has nothing to do with you - it's definitely me.

Here's the thing about me - it's just all too much for me to try to figure out.  There is too much information, too many programs, too many experts who have the"key" to healthy living.  It activates my fight or flight response and I just shut down.  It just has to be more simple than all of that.

We all have the same 24 hours and I just cannot buy into the fact that my health hinges on whether or not I have the time/means to take part in some or all of the stuff that's out there.  I have made some simple discoveries about myself over the years and I'm just gonna go with it.

1. I must have downtime/quiet time everyday - it's a challenge, but one that I take seriously. I must care for my introverted soul.

2. I feel the best and have the most energy when I listen to my body.  I know that the experts say this and that about how and when and what I should eat.  I listen to my body over them.  Every Time.

3. I hate water, but I drink it anyway. 

4.  I do some exercise everyday, even if it's just a short yoga session or a walk.  Some exercise everyday.

5.  I try to really pay attention to nature, to people, to God, to what is happening in the moment.  I want to live on purpose and not miss things because I am on auto-pilot.

The End.

Seriously.  That is my health routine and it is what makes me feel whole and peaceful.  I am 45 years old and I have never felt better.  I grow more convinced all the time that what we really need is peace.  :)






Saturday, June 9, 2018

Small Changes

I have always been bad at things like New Year's resolutions and diets.  Some time ago, I just stopped trying because who likes to always fail?

But, over the past few years, a new idea has taken hold in my brain.  I have always viewed stuff like that as punishing myself rather than helping myself which is why I would always quit.  If I can adopt the mindset that this is good for me and I will probably even enjoy it - then, game on!

Media consumption is high on my list of concerns not only for my kids, but for myself.  I don't think all the gadgetry is evil (see my previous entry), but I do recognize that we need to control it and not the other way around.  But, how does one go about that?  I don't want to be the constant nagging voice in my kid's heads "get off your phone!  turn off the xbox!  what are you doing on the computer now??"  But, I also don't want them to have no self-discipline or awareness in this area.  They will never get away from electonics - it's hard to imagine how, but I'm sure it will get worse.  What do we do?  Internal regulation is what we need, but how do we get there?

Well, we have put one guideline in place that I believe has headed us down the right path.

We heard a speaker not long ago talking about how important the first hour of the day is and how it sets the tone for your day and determines your focus.  He said that to roll out of bed and immediately check your devices (guilty) is to program yourself to be distracted all day long.  I GOT IT.

So, we started.  We told the kids that from now on, the first hour of everyone's day is to be device-free.  What they do during that time is up to them, but no electronics of any kind.  We are doing it too - and what a difference already.

I spend my first hour doing some kind of exercise and then having a time to read, pray, journal or even just sit in the quiet.  It makes my head clearer and my days feel more productive.  I know that this isn't going to be like all of those times that I tried to make a resolution and didn't stick to it because it is something I am doing FOR myself,  not TO myself. 

It's a small change, but I can tell it will have big results.