It is such human nature to want to figure everything out, isn't it? The idea of "letting go and letting God" flies in the face of our need to control.
I am a fiercely patriotic person. Yes, yes, our country has multiple issues, but I have always been and am still proud to be an American. The national anthem never fails to bring tears to my eyes. We are a messy bunch, but I wouldn't want to belong to any other place on this planet.
We are pretty stubborn though. We came to this land and forged our own way, fighting against anything or anyone that stood in our way. We were self-sufficient from the word go. I appreciate how this attitude has shaped me as a person...mostly.
But, it occurs to me that this attitude also makes it very hard for me to live the life of faith.
I have been taught, maybe not directly, but by observation, that I should be able to handle whatever life throws at me. I should pull myself up by my bootstraps and soldier on, I should DEFINITELY have the answers.
But, you know, faith doesn't work that way.
Jesus wasn't an American and He doesn't change the way the kingdom of God works to accommodate our American-ness.
He calls us to follow Him and not be sure of where we are going.
He asks us to believe and trust before we see.
He asks us to be ok without having all the answers.
He asks us to trust that He loves us and will never let us down even when it looks like the exact opposite is happening.
I'll be honest, this used to make me mad. I believed in God, sure, but I wanted it to make sense. I wanted it to be logical. I wanted to know what to expect. I wanted a God that was predictable.
Instead I got exactly what I needed.
I got the blessed ability to look at all of the things life throws at me, close my eyes and say,
"I will be still, and know that you are God. I don't need to worry about this or try to figure it out because you are the answer. I hear your voice and another I will not follow. You will never leave me or forsake me. You are my shepherd, I shall not want."