Schizophrenia, or What I Should Have Done in the First Place...

When I got the word a few weeks ago that Kennedy and Reagan would not be allowed to attend Goodrich, the thought of keeping McKinley at home as well crossed my mind.  It entered briefly and was quickly shoved out the other side of my head by the sheer force of my fear.

"I wasn't going to homeschool anyone this year," I reasoned, "I am going back to school!!!  I would never have decided to do both at the same time!  I have no choice about the older 2, but McKinley has a spot!  I simply cannot school all 3 of them and do everything else."  Case closed.  Yah, right.

The first 5 days of school haven't been awful or anything, but here is what I discovered.  I leave the house at 7:20, drop the boys off and then have to drive to Goodrich and kill a half an hour before I can drop McKinley off.  I rush home and don't get there until 9:00.  On Tues/Thurs that leaves me just an hour to get Kennedy and Reagan started with school before I rush off to class.  Same cycle in the afternoon.  Leave at 2:20, get home at 4:00.   Rush off to dance.  On the night I teach, I have no time to give the older girls any additional help until after I get home.  When I'm exhausted and crabby...and have homework of my own. 

Also, McKinley was having a bit of a rough time.  I didn't think about the difficulties of breaking into a 5th grade group that has mostly been together since Kindergarten.  Not to mention, do I want her making tons of close friends in a community that is that far away?  Do I want to have to drive up there multiple times a week when she is older and has sports/band/football games/dances?  No.  I don't.  It would have been different if all 3 girls were there and the oldest could have started helping with the driving next year...but, as it stands now, doesn't make sense.

So, I will add a 3rd child to our homeschool starting tomorrow.  (When I finally arrive at a conclusion, I don't waste any time).  I will gain two hours in each and every day.  I will save hundreds of miles on my vehicle and hundreds of dollars in gas.  I will have more time to actually teach and much less time to sit in my van waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. 

I will enjoy this year with my girls and we will wait and see together what next year holds for all of us.  And next year, when crunch time comes, I will listen to my heart and not my fear.