Family 2015

Family 2015

Thursday, September 1, 2011

When Fixing the Problem isn't the Answer...

*Sigh*  Being a parent is really hard sometimes.  I have been told my many older mothers to trust my instincts when it comes to parenting.  To not worry about what other people are doing or not doing, just to trust the heart and mind that God gave me.  I think that is true - atleast most of the time.

The one time when this piece of advice seems to fail is when it comes to watching your children struggle.  Kids start to face struggles from the time they are very young and we mothers, we don't like it.  I can remember almost crying watching one of my babies trying to learn to roll over.  She was so frustrated, red-faced, hollering -it was pitiful.  My knee-jerk reaction was to go and flip her over.  But, what good would that do?  She would still have to struggle to do it next time because all the struggling was, in fact, building the muscles she needed to accomplish the task.

Oh, if only it was always as easy as learning to roll over...

I'm not trying to discourage anyone, but it just gets harder as they get older.  There have been so many times that I have wanted to step into a situation and "fix" it.  Just buy that toy they want so bad and have been saving for forever.  Rescind a consequence because they really are sorry.  Call that teacher and demand less homework.  Call the mom of that kid who is being so snotty.  Make an excuse about why the assignment wasn't done on time.  And on and on and on...

It doesn't get easier to watch them struggle, but I do atleast understand it better.  I get that this is the way they learn and grow and ultimately become successful adults.  It's just life and I don't do them any favors when I take away the means by which they develop.

There is something we can do though.  Believe in them.  Believe in them and let them know that we do.  Tell them, "I know this is so hard, so hard for you right now.  But, you will make it.  You are able.  You'll be better when it's over." 

And then wait until they aren't around to cry.   


  1. Yvonne,
    I couldn't wait to get a taste of that book! This is absolutely wonderful and so true. My kids are both in college now but this is still a lesson I must continue with as they develop into adults!

  2. I do believe the older they are the harder parenting becomes!